Apr 2008 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

Continue from ...... Darkness and Light A very hard day. I have been waiting for my dear friend Jonas, who took me to the airport in Boston and promised to come and visit me in France. Two weeks ago I heard he had indeed left for Paris and was going to visit me at the end of last week. Today I found out that he has already returned to Boston. It was a very painful discovery. I had anticipated his visit and made all sorts of arrangements to welcome him.Now I feel not only sad at not seeing him, but also hurt and rejected. He did not even send me a note or a card and left me guessing and misguessing for a week. I had had the impression that he was eager to see me and that one of the reasons he came to France was to be with me. He went to Brussels, Paris, and the Alps, but did'nt come to Trosly! What a lesson! When I called him, he explained to me that things had just worked out differently from what he had foreseen, that he couldn't find my phone number, and that he was very tired. Still I felt deeply hurt. I now wonder what to do with this experience. Luckily, I am less depressed by it than I used to be in similar circumstances. Ever since I heard that Jonas had returned to Boston, I have been saying to myself, "If you really want to be less visible, less known, try to take this event and use it to become more forgotten, more passed over' be grateful for the occasion. Trust that hiddenness will give you new eyes to see yourself, your world, and your God. People cannot give you new eyes; only the one who loves you without limits." I said things like this at different times, but it didn't quite work. I prayed for a few quiet moments, asking Jesus to help me not to become angry or bitter, and I tried to do my work as best I could. But I kept going back over the event again and again, constructing reasons for why he should have visited me and why I should feel rejected. It will probably take a while before I can fully forgive Jonas and be grateful for this occasion to grow in the spirit. Meanwhile, I am trying to keep a sense of humour and write a few notes to people who are always close to thinking that I am rejecting them. Lord, give me the peace and joy that only you an give. Darkness and Light This afternoon I spent a few hours with Brother Christian Leisy, a monk of Christ in the Desert Monastery at Abiquiu, New Mexico, and Jackie Nelson from Santa Fe. They are both iconographers who have just finished a course with Father Egon Sendler, SJ the great icon specialist. This occasion gave me a wonderful chance to ask questions about icon making which I had always wanted to ask. I felt awe for these two humble and receptive people, who told me everything I wanted to know. What impressed me most was their conviction that the renewal of the art of iconography was in fact a renewal of the spiritual life. Not only did Brother Christian and Jackie Nelson exercise their art as a sacred task for which they had to be spiritually prepared, they also saw their work as a way to bring people to faith in the presence of the divine among us. They told me about many people who had found God through their interest in icons. Icons are not just pious pictures to decorate churches and houses. They are images of Christ and the saints which bring us into contact with the sacred, windows that give us a glimpse of the transcendent. They need to be approached in veneration and with prayer. Only then will they reveal to us the mystery they represent. Iconography has come to the West mainly from the Orthodox tradition, especially from Russia and Greece. Since the Russian Revolution of 1917, many Orthodox Christians have fled to the West, and through them the holy art of iconography has gradually become more known and appreciated in the Latin Church. Russian and Greek icons have become one of the most important sources of inspiration for my own prayer life. The icon of Our Lady of Vladimir, Rublev's icon of the Holy Trinity, and the nineteenth century Greek icon of Christ that I obtained in Jerusalem have become integral parts of my life of prayer. I cannot think about the Holy Trinity, Jesus, and Mary without seeing them as the holy iconographers saw them. Icons are certainly one of the most beautiful gifts of the Orthodox Church to the churches of the West.

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2008. All rights reserved.