October 2008 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

Continue from ...... Shifting emotions The depression that hit me when my long-awaited friend Jonas did not come to visit never totally left me. The many things to see, to hear, and to do covered up my darker feelings most of the time, but on various occasions they reappeared above the surface of my daily activities and reminded me of their presence. This afternoon Jonas suddenly telephoned from the United States. My depression returned to me in full force.""Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you write me? Why didn't you visit me?" He responded, "Hey, wait a moment, that's all past. I want to come visit you in October!" I had a hard time hearing him. I kept nurturing my own hurt feelings and couldn't really appreciate his attempt to let me know that he really wanted to be a caring, loving friend who had not forgotten me. Only after we discussed dates and places did I start to realize my deafness and gradually hear his faithful friendship. When I laid down the receiver, I felt new peace entering into my innermost self and sensed that my depression was slowly dissolving. Oh, I am so little in control of my feelings and emotions! Often I have to just let them pass through me and trust that they won't hang around too long. Many other things happened today that could fill pages of this journal, but the few minutes with Jonas on the telephone affected me more than anything else. That is why I want to write about it, although it seems such a miserable subject after The Pilgrims of Emmaus. But often the deepest pains are hidden in the smallest corners. First Glimpse of a New Vocation I am in Canada for nine days to visit Daybreak, the L'Arche community near Toronto. This is my first day. Joe Egan, the director, welcomed me warmly. This morning I had a chance to meet all the assistants in their weekly meeting, and tonight I celebrated the Eucharist for all those who have been part of the community longer than two years, the handicapped as well as the assistants. It was interesting to hear Joe say that the distinction between handicapped people and assistants is becoming less important than the distinction between long-term community members and short-term helpers. Joe said that those who have built a real and lasting bond with L'Arche are especially responsible for making visitors, short-term assistants, and new handicapped people feel welcome. So, indeed, it is a community on a journey, always changing, always adapting itself to new people, always open to surprises, always willing to try new things, but with a solid centre of committed people who know the importance of permanency.

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2008. All rights reserved.