Jesus spoke of the grain of wheat as a prelude to his death and rising...words meant to be reflected on by the disciples so that when the time comes for the letting go they would not be too devasted but be sustained by hope.

To produce much fruit one needs to die first, surrender everything and like the seed deteriorate in the ground and disappear into oblivion. and this is what we are too afraid of, ... for nothingness is terrifying. To give all cheerfully without counting the cost is traumatically painful - but if we love this present life too much we risk the loss of eternity.

There is a saying that one holds all of ones life in ones hands like water cupped up. If I then let go I may never find myself again. This life is the eternal life we are gifted with at our baptism. The saints were ready to let go of their life to find eternity. To serve the Lord was far more advantageous than serving the politics of the time. So the deacon Lawrence was ready, cheerfully willing to be roasted over the fire to defend the Church's treasures ... the poor whom he was caring for.

Have I a choice to be different...to live as a true Christian...a follower of Jesus...who lived his Father's will to the utmost? Do I wish to be different and not accept the status quo of this world's standards?