Jul 2010 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

Continue from ...... A Forgiven Person Forgives Often I am not prepared for my morning meditation and end up just sitting in the oratory at 7am with all kinds of thoughts except the thought my meditation subject suggests to me. But I simply must stay with it, even when it seems quite pointless. This morning I meditated on God's eagerness to forgive me, revealed in the words of the One Hundred Third Psalm: "As far as the East is from the West, so far does God remove my sin." In the midst of all my distractions, I was touched by God's desire to forgive me again and again. If I return to God with a repentant heart after I have sinned, God is always there to embrace me and let me start afresh. "The Lord is compassion and love, slow to anger and rich in mercy." It is hard for me to forgive someone who has really offended me, especially when it happens more than once. I begin to doubt the sincerity of the one who asks forgiveness for a second, third, or fourth time. But God does not keep count. God just waits for our return, without resentment or desire for revenge. God wants us home. "The love of the Lord is everlasting." Maybe the reason it seems hard for me to forgive others is that I do not fully believe that I am a forgiven person. If I could fully accept the truth that I am forgiven and do not have to live in guilt or shame, I would really be free. My freedom would allow me to forgive others seventy times seven times. By not forgiving, I chain myself to a desire to get even, thereby losing my freedom. A forgiven person forgives. This is what we proclaim when we pray, "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us." This lifelong struggle lies at the heart of the Christian life. Forgiveness and Freedom Jonas left this morning. I got up early, broke two wine glasses trying to find my way around the kitchen, made Jonas a sandwich for his train ride, and then walked to his room. We prayed together in the oratory, had a quick breakfast, and discovered that Simone had also made him a sandwich for the train. Barbara picked us up in one of the L'Arche Renaults and drove us to the station. The train to Brussels appeared on the minute. We embraced, said good words to each other, and waved good-bye as the train pulled away. Barbara said, "He is a very nice man. It was good for us that he came. I hope it was also good for him." Tonight, during the Eucharist for the English-speaking assistants, we heard the words of Jesus: "Forgive your brother from your heart." I spoke about the freedom that forgiveness can bring, and many people said afterwards that my words had touched them deeply. I discovered once again that what is most personal is most universal. Jonas had left, but his leaving was a good leaving that was already bearing fruit.

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2010. All rights reserved.