Self-criticism is an essential quality for growth. Self-evaluation is necessary for self-improvement and self-forgetfulness is necessary for "not judging others."
It is said that most ignorance is the result of a choice. We do not know another person or a situation well because we do not want to know. Therefore we tend to justify our stance towards others and criticism of them. Stagnation sets in if we only want to collect applauds from others; if we only want to receive from others. If the outward movement of "giving" praise where it is due is not there we become a stagnant pool into which everything flows and from which nothing flows out.
It is when I give till it "hurts" then I will know that I am really "giving". When there is generous forgiving and giving God himself will not be outdone by such generosity but will be infinitely more generous with us. That alone should spur us on to be generous towards others and to give without counting the cost.
In every conflict situation I am in, I have something to do about it - both with starting it or resolving it. Until I am willing to examine my part in the problem, I have no right to criticize the other.
Lord, forgive us as we forgive those who have hurt us.