Mar 2012 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

Continue from ...... Three Generations It has become a sort of tradition that I celebrate the Eucharist on the first day of the year with the Van Campen family in Lieshout, near Eindhoven. The Van Camens have been friends of my parents as long as I can remember. In October 1978, the same month that my mother died, Phillip Van Campen, sixty-eight, had a severe stroke. He has been paralyzed ever since. Once a successful bank director and businessman, he has now become an invalid totally dependent on his wife and the nurse who care for him. On his birthday, the first of January, his wife invites their six children and their families to the family home for a Eucharist and a dinner. For me it is an annual confrontation with the tragedy of Dutch Catholicism. Phillip and his wife, Puck, are both deeply believing people. Their life centres around the Eucharist. Puck, whose days are fully dedicated to the care of her invalid husband, continues to find hope and strength in Jesus through his presence in her life. But for the children the words "God" and "Church" have become much more ambiguous and often evoke very critical and sometimes even hostile thoughts. The two older sons and their families still visit the church regularly. They see the life in Christ as important but often wonder if the services they attend realy nurture their spiritual life. The younger children, however, have become much more alienated. For them, the Church has become irrelevant. For most of them the Bible is no longer used, the sacraments have become unknown, prayer is nonexistent, and thoughts about a greater life than the present are rather utopian. The grandchildren seem most ill at ease with religious ceremonies. Six of them have not been baptized and look at me, vested in alb and stole, as at some performer who is not very entertaining. It was quite an experience to pray and celebrate the Eucharist surrounded by a large family in which the parents are deeply committed Christians, the children find themselves less and less at home in the Church, and most of the grandchildren have become unfamiliar with the story of God's love. All of these men and women are very good, caring, and responsible people. Their friendship means a lot to me and gives me joy. Still, I experience a real sadness that the faith that gives so much life to the parents no longer shapes the lives of all the children and grandchildren. Who is to blame? I often wonder where I would be today if I had been part of the great turmoil of the Dutch Church during the last decades. Blaming is not the issue. What is important is to find the anger-free parts in people's hearts where God's love can be heard and received. After the Gospel reading I spoke about God's "first love," which allows us to forgive each other for not being able to give one another all the love we desire. I realized that those who had struggled with relationships were listening and making connections. They said "yes" to the pain I described, but not everyone seemed ready yet to say "yes" to the one who came to heal that pain. I wonder if those who are between thirty and fifty and who no longer find the Chruch a source of strength will ever be able to let Jesus heal their wounds. But maybe one day their children will ask them the old question again: "Is Jesus the Messiah, or do we have to wait for another?"

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2012. All rights reserved.