April 2013 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

Continue from ...... Choosing Joy In the first reading of the Eucharist today I heard: "I am offering you life or death ... choose life, then, so that you and your descendents may live in the love of Yahweh your God, obeying his voice, holding fast to him" (Deut. 30:19-20). How do I choose life? I am becoming aware that there are few moments without the opportunity to choose, since death and life are always before me. One aspect of choosing life is choosing joy. Joy is life-giving, but sadness brings death. A sad heart is a heart in which something is dying. A joyful heart is a heart in which something new is being born. I think that joy is much more than a mood. A mood invades us. We do not choose a mood. We often find ourselves in a happy or depressed mood without knowing where it comes from. The spiritual life is a life beyond moods. It is a life in which we choose joy and do not allow ourselves to become victims of passing feelings of happiness or depression. I am convinced that we can choose joy. Every moment we can decide to respond to an event or a person with joy instead of sadness. When we truly believe that God is life and only life, then noting need have the power to draw us into the sad realm of death. To choose joy does not mean to choose happy feelings or an artificial atmosphere of hilarity. But it does mean the determination to let whatever takes place bring us one step closer to the God of life. Maybe this is what is so important about quiet moments of meditation and prayer. They allow me to take a critical look at my moods and to move from victimization to free choice. This morning I woke up somewhat depressed. I could not find any reason for it. Life just felt empty, useless, fatiguing. I felt invaded by somber spirits. I realized that this mood was lying to me. Life is not meaningless. God has created life as an expression of love. It helped me to know this, even though I could not feel it. Based on this knowledge, I could again choose joy. This choice means simply to act according to the truth. The depressed mood is still there. I cannot just force it out of my heart. But at least I can unmask it as being untrue and thus prevent it from becoming the ground for my actions. I am called to be joyful. It gives much consolation to know that I can choose joy. All Is Well Around the Munster Saturday afternoon, 5pm at the Munster. It is very still on the Munster square. A very light, hardly noticeable snow falls softly on the cobblestones. The houses standing around the Munster form a quiet, peaceful community, like children sitting around a bonfire listening to a story. There is hardly any noise. The stores have been closed since noon. No cars, no shouting voices, not even the noise of children playing. Here and there I see people crossing the empty snow-covered square and entering the church. The sun has gone down, but it is not fully dark yet. The grey sky is filled with little white dots. A few lights burn outside the guesthouses, inviting people to come in and drink some wine or eat some hearty food. I look up at the tower of the Munster. She tells her story without words, a wise old grandmother smiling at her grandchildren, who say, "Tell us that story again." Beams of light cover her full length, and through the open spire a warm inner light shines forth from her. I look and feel comforted and consoled. She seems to say, "Do not worry so much. God loves you." In the church it is dark. But there is an island of light in front of the large statue of the Virgin and Child. The flames of hundreds of small candles make the light look like something alive and moving. A few people are standing there praying with closed eyes. In the little side chapels surrounding the main altar priests are hearing confessions. People come and go silently. I kneel in front of one of the priests to confess my sins. He listens to me attentively and speaks gentle words about the importance of being joyful at all times. As he absolves me in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirits, I feel some of the joy he spoke about. I pray for a while in front of the statue of the Virgin. Then I walk home with a heart full of peace. It has become very dark now. The glowing tower still stands there and smiles at me. All is well.

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2013. All rights reserved.