Nov 2017 The Road to Daybreak A Spiritual Journey by Henri J M Nouwen

(Continue from) Evaluating a Journey   When I arrived in Paris, Brad Wolcott was waiting for me. Together we went to the Foyer Sacerdotal, a hostel for priests in Paris where Brad had reserved a room for me. So here I am back in Paris. The bright evening sun made the city look festive and welcoming. Brad called it the "New Jerusalem." During supper I tried to express my feelings about the journey that had started on May 12. As I spoke, I became more and more conscious of the ups and downs of my inner journey that had gone on while I travelled the world. It had become possible for me to identify clearly when I had been faithful and when not. There were days in which I felt very much connected with Jesus - thinking, speaking, and acting in communion with him. But there were also days when I felt so needy, distant, anxious, or restless that Jesus seemed far away. There were days during which I could speak loudly and clearly about the love of God and was listened to with great attention. But there were other days when I seemed to have lost even my inner spiritual life and looked with jealous eyes at those who enjoyed the good life without even the slightest thought of God. It is important that I know the difference between these two states of mind and can identify when and how I move from one to the other. The most important criterion is prayer. As long as I pray daily, intimately and long, I stay in the right place and continue to walk on the road to faithfulness. But when I let my prayer go because of fatigue, distraction, or laziness, I know that I will soon be on the other side of the fence. The second criterion is a deep,confessing friendship. I now realize that I need regular contact with a friend who keeps me close to Jesus and continues to call me to faithfulness. As I talked to Brad, I realized that I had come to know my limits better and to realize more clearly how to deal with them. True Belonging   Being back in France makes me think about countries and cultures. During the past few months I have been in Holland, Germany, Canada, the United States, and England, and in all these countries I have had intense contact with people and their ways of living, praying, and playing. There is a great temptation to want to know which culture is the best and where I am most happy and at home. But this way of thinking leads to endless frustrations because the Dutch, the Germans, the French, the Americans, and the Canadians are all people who have unique ways of feeling, thinking, and behaving, none of which totally fits my needs, but all of which have gifts for me. I know people who complain about the Germans while in Germany and about the Americans, moving themselves and their families back and forth, always wondering which is the best place to live without ever being truly content. Some people, then, are always disappointed with someone or something. They complain about the rigidty of the German Church and the sloppiness of the American Church. Or they may complain about the critical attitude of the Dutch, the mystical attitude of the French, the pragmatic attitude of the Americans, and the formalistic attitude of the English, while never really worshipping deeply at any one place.

- To Be Continued - © Copyright Shalom 2017. All rights reserved.