Jesus makes it so clear and straightforward for us. He loves us completely, giving his life for our freedom from sin and death. His total gift of himself is to win our hearts completely.

We know that when we love others in Jesus, every-thing is in balance. We also know that our faith doesn't work when our love for anyone somehow competes with our love for Jesus. Jesus puts our loving in perspective.

Jesus invites us to love the way he loves. He invites us to carry the cross of love. We know that trying to love, without self-sacrifice always gets us into trouble. It is too easy to confuse why we are loving. Love often begins with a good bit of "self" wrapped up in it. 'I love the other because the other makes me feel good or happy'. At its worst, one's relationship with the other can become totally selfish - about 'my' needs or about control or manipula-tion of the other. Jesus guides us in the way of true loving - the self-emptying gift of self for the other.

The greatest irony of life is that one's greatest happi-ness is to be found in what one seems to fear the most - losing oneself, myself. When one's heart becomes more filled with Jesus and becomes more focused on being for others, then that person begins to find oneself. Self-sacri-ficing love gives self-esteem, self-confidence and self-identity.

Have we never met a self-forgetful person who loves others freely but is unhappy?