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INTENTION : |
Let us pray for young people who are preparing for marriage with the support of a Christian community: may they grow in love, with generosity, faithfulness and patience.
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Marriage preparation
The truth about Christian marriage is grounded in realism and grace. It is a realism that recognises marriage as, first, a fundamental human good; second, an ideal that lies beyond our reach; third and most importantly, a sacrament that bestows the grace of God, enabling the spouses to strive for the ideal of true love.
This is the context of Pope Francis' Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia. Our focus is chapter 4. Pope Francis has an extensive commentary on Paul's hymn to love as found in the first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13. He has also included an accompanying reference to St Catherine of Siena. Her teaching on patience clarifies the intrinsic connection between the challenges and sufferings of married life and the beauty of spousal love.
This love is not merely the emotion or feeling; true love does not exclude feeling, but true love rises beyond emotion to the level of a fully willed human action, a free choice involving a total gift of self to another. This is the primary human communion of persons modelling the Love that originates in the Trinitarian God. This is the beauty of marriage.
Each one of us, whether priest, married, unmarried, religious, bishop - whatever our vocation - received our initial formation in our own family, no matter how diverse that family setting may have been.
Rightly then, marriage preparation held a central position in the two Synods leading up to the publication of Amoris Laetitia and in the document itself. It is in this very context that Pope Francis, speaking of the need for formal marriage preparation, noted that for every married couple:
marriage preparation begins at birth. What [the couple] received from their family should prepare them to know themselves and make a full and definitive commitment. Those best prepared for marriage are probably those who learned what Christian marriage is from their own parents, who chose each other unconditionally and daily renew this decision (AL 208)
It is good to remember some important words and phrases. They are self-knowledge, full and definitive commitment, choosing unconditionally, and daily renewal of one's decision. All of these words apply to marriage preparation. Still, these same qualities apply to the priestly and religious vocations as well - that is to say, that preparation for marriage, preparation for a priestly vocation, and preparation for a religious vocation all begin at birth - in the midst of marriage and family. Family is the everyday context where human beings first experience love - the love that lies at the foundation for all vocations - the vocation of marriage and the vocation of celibacy and continence.
In the family, we first learn commitment, self-knowledge, fidelity, self-sacrifice... and all the basic human qualities required of any mature adult - whatever his or her vocation. Marriage is about committed faithful love - a love no man or woman can live without - as Pope John Paul taught us in Redemptor Hominis.
By Sr Catherine Joseph Droste, OP
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