Signs from the Church of the Modern Times ....
- There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking its
parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CARPARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY;
Trespassers will be baptized!
- "No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace."
- "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
- "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
- "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
- An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets
on
which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For
fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
- When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own
message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
- "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before
you
know how strong they are."
- "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
- "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
- "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the
pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
- "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
- "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
- "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows u-turns."
- "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
- "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal
fire
insurance soon."
- "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----(U R)
- "Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
- "In the dark? Follow the Son."
- "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."
- "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
Faith makes all things possible.
Hope makes all things bright.
Love makes all things easy.
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